2020 STORIES...


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Editor Jim Lockwood

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Monday, August 3, 2020
BARNES DOWSIZED
Story by J.J. Wurz

SAN JOSE (AP) - With the dynasty that was the Tokyo Tsunamis now downgraded to a tropical storm, it seems that the rest of the Barnes Division has blown out to sea as well. Four of the six teams are playing well below .500 baseball and even the second place Cairo Scorpions are barely staying aloft of that line. Meanwhile, the Roehm cellar dwellers of Vancouver and Edmonton wouldn’t look so bad if they moved divisions. The Mounties would be two games out of third and the Orcas tied for forth.

Does this mean the Barnes Division is now the new Polanski of Weaverball? A close look at the statistics and standings reveals that the Polanski Division isn’t as Polanski as it has been in the past. The Mutants and Sharks are in a battle for the title, each with 65 or more wins. No other division has two sixty game winners so far.

To be fair to the Barnes though, the Long Beach Lobsters have been crushing everyone, winning nearly 85% of their games thus far. However, the Lobsters have a better in division record against the rest of the Roehm than non-division, and have played nearly an equal amount of both. So, one runaway team that could refute this question is not the answer. The Lobsters are not at fault.

Perhaps the Stockholm Swedes are to blame? They have posted a 38-12 record in division, as opposed to a 30-20 record outside of it. Yet, their win total of 68 so far is on par with the Inferno divisional leaders New York and Chernobyl. Shockingly, both the Nukes and Mutants have won more games in the Lockwood Division than Polanski, giving further evidence of improvement there.

No, it is as feared. The Barnes has gone south. Both the Godfathers and Surfriders are below .300 for the season, while in comparison, the last place Orcas are threatening to break .400 in the Roehm. To further illustrate the quandary, the Barnes second place Cairo Scorpions would sit a mighty fifth place in the Roehm Division.

So, rejoice Polanski Division! No longer will your heads droop in shame. The mantle has been passed. The welcome mat for visiting teams moved from your stoop. The Barnes now holds the dubious title of the worst division in Weaverball.

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