2013 STORIES...

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Monday, January 7, 2013
Story by Mike Wilson

TOKYO (AP) - Pavel Chmura today went from first to worst, leaving the new champion Havana Cigars to sign with the Tokyo Tsunamis.

At the press conference Chmura wore his new Tokyo jersey over his Armani suit, saying "I am greatful to Havana for allowing to hone my skills and play for a great team, and win a championship, however right now Tokyo is the place for me."

When asked to elaborate Chmura shouted, "Do you know how much money they are going to pay me! No seriously, this is a good young team, and with me as the focal point of the offense and defense, I think I can teach these kids how to win, and be champions."

Chmura added, "This organization is aggressive and committed to winning, it may take 2 or 3 years, but I know we will be in contention soon."

Notably absent from the press conference was team CEO/GM Michael Wilson. Several rumors bounced around the room, many believing he was currently staying in the Betty Ford Clinic.

A team official speaking on terms of anonymity, assured The Weaver Times that Wilson was in the deep in the bowels of the Tsunami Complex, waiting on confirmation of a mega-trade. All other team officials denied these rumors, but where there is smoke...

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