2001 STORIES...

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Editor Jim Lockwood

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Monday, April 2nd, 2001
Story by King Kamehameha

HONOLULU (AP) - For any of you coconut heads who don't know who I am, I manage the Honolulu Volcanos under the wise ownership of Charles Polanski, may mother Pele bless him...also I unified the Hawaiian islands under one power... MYSELF! In my spare time I will write up some one liner edicts all should heed!

#1 The following shall be known as lucky teams in 2001... Jamaica, Planet X, Havana, Kabul, Berlin, Tokyo.

King Kamehameha shares his supreme wisdom with all who will hear it.

#2 The following shall be known as unlucky teams in 2001... Bombay, Honolulu, Los Angeles, Belfast.

#3 Planet-X should play only road games (both so we don't have to travel out there and since they do better on Earth).

#4 You must go to the following websites or I shall have godess Pele shoot lava upon your cities!
http://www.aoc.gov/art/nshpages/kamehame.htm (read the article at this link to understand ->We all know where his fianl resting place is... the Weaver League)
Read about my great grandson:

#5 Stan Musial is the only opponent worthy of myself.

#6 Genghis Khan of the Gobi Mongols is an idiot... sure he conquered more land than I, but most of it was desolate wastelands. I say Quality over Quantity (especially with the wahine... Kamehameha shudders to think what a Mongolian woman looks like!)

#7 Kamehameha tell his team to sweep the Nukes so he won't have to play in that godawful, smelly, crime infested, sewer of a city until the year 2001! They came through for the King once again!

#8 Kamehameha's least favorite road trip... Amity. It's cold and dreary on Long Island and Amity is the only team that even scares Kamehameha.

#9 Kamehameha's medicine man is putting a curse on all runners next season so that we may have players caught stealing again.

#10 Summer Time is here and the going is salty! Hang Ten Bra!

2001 Weaver Times Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.